Peed In My Pants

Not just once, but twice.

Now that you are a pro and understand the emotions of a pregnant lady in her 9th month, it should not surprise you that on the same day I broke down and cried in my car at the doctor's office, I also peed my pants laughing hysterically.

We were at Sam & Megan's house visiting our friend, Chase who works in The Sudan but is visiting for a couple weeks. As Ethan and I were on our way out, I had my hand on the doorknob and thought "man, it would suck if I opened the door and got shot." I know that is probably not a normal thought to have, but nonetheless, I opened the door and our friend Chris Lawhorne was standing on their dark porch, wearing a beanie (much like all criminals do) and reaching for the doorknob. My throat still hurts I screamed so loud. And then I laughed. Then peed. And then peed again on the way home, thinking about the whole situation.

I would blame the pee on pregnancy, but I really can't. I kind of have a habit of laughing to the point of pee. So much so that my brother, Sam likes to make it his goal. One afternoon of his Christmas visit, he was successful. I was eating lunch at the table and he stood in the kitchen, danced, and sang Nelly's "Flap Your Wings (drop down and get your eagle on, girl)." I inappropriately misinterpreted the lyrics, much to Sam's disgust. I think I'm going to pee just thinking about it. Ask me sometime and I'll tell you what I thought it meant.

Doctor Visits

Ultrasounds are always fun, so my morning appointment was very enjoyable. Carver was confirmed a boy, determined to be 7 lbs, 6oz and as cute as a little smushed up fetus can be. The lady doing my ultrasound even let me see him in 4D which was super cool. I felt like I was cheating by seeing what he looks like. He has his dad's nose and hair!

My second visit was not so fun. Not only is having your cervix checked an unpleasant feeling, having the doctor say you are 0cm. dilated is even worse. However, both mom and baby are healthy so I'm thankful (or at least I feel like I should say that).

If you ever plan on getting pregnant or getting any one else pregnant, you might find the following helpful. These are the 4 extreme emotions I've been experiencing as the final weeks approach. The first two are the patient ones and the last two are desperately impatient ones.

1. I feel pleasantly distracted from pregnancy and can thoroughly enjoy things like Christmas, buying new plants at the nursery, or whatever else might come my way. (If you have such a ploy, please distract!)

2. Sometimes I'm just straight up content with waiting for my little guy. I think about how fun motherhood is going to be, sigh and realize I would wait forever to meet this person I love so much.

3. CRANKY. Angry, grumpy, inconsolable. I am literally sick and tired of being heavy, not sleeping, not knowing when I'm going to go into labor, saying "January 11th," breathing heavily just from walking up one flight of stairs and having fat feet. Every false contraction mocks me. My packed hospital bags mock me. Cute maternity clothes, baby gear and I have all lost our "glow."

4. Some of the time I just feel generally sad or disappointed. I've spent a year getting my hopes up and looking forward to a day that still seems so far away. Even 48 hours sounds far away. The last time I felt as disappointed as I did today after the 2nd appointment was on my birthday last April when I got my period (and therefore realized I wasn't pregnant).

Unless you've been 9 months pregnant before, all this might sound crazy, selfish or silly. I'm sure these next 2 weeks of your life will fly by. But to me, it is what it is.

My Prayer For Carver

A few months ago I asked God to give me a prayer for Carver. I didn't know if it would be scripture, or if I would just have a feeling of something to pray for, but I just felt a need for God's guidance. He led me to Psalm 20 and this has been and will be my prayer for our little boy:

May the Lord answer you in the day of trouble!
May the name of the God of Jacob set you securely on high!
May He send you help from the sanctuary,
And support you from Zion!
May He remember all your meal offerings,
And find your burnt offering acceptable!

May He grant you your heart's desire,
And fulfill all your counsel!
We will sing for joy over your salvation,
And in the name of our God we will set up our banners.
May the Lord fulfill all your petitions.

Psalm 20:1-5

Good News

Not in the world of my uterus (which I have named Harvey, just for kicks), but in a few others'. Remember my blog about friends and family that were having trouble getting pregnant or having health issues? Well, the friends are preggers and the family just had a sweet baby boy! Hooray!

I do have an ultrasound and a cervix check today, so there will be news one way or another. Stay posted.

My wonderful mom and mom-in-law made sure all my dishes and laundry were done while they were here for Christmas, so my normal pastimes are out. What a relief! Other than that I have been doing some sewing(!), list-making of other things I could do to keep me busy, pacing in the middle of the night, the usual.

Next, I think I'll try and learn how to do this.

Only, it might end up more like this.

No News

...is good news? I did have a very painful contraction in the movie theatre last night. Then again, it could have been gas.

Double Fake Out

Merry Christmas! Even with all the excitement, present opening and food going on right now, I want to take a moment and go over what has happened in the world of my uterus in the past couple days (mostly for my own reflection).

On the morning after the first fake out, starting around 8:00, I had a few mild "contractions." I could tell it was insignificant because there were no patterns forming. Around 9:00, Megan and I met Cindy for breakfast at Panera, la di da, nothing going on... then at 11:00 I went to Publix to stock up on food for Christmas because Ethan's family was coming into town that day. As I walked around, enjoying my shopping, I realized I was starting to have pretty regular contractions. I decided to text Ethan and he told me to text him every time they came so he could keep a little record. I think around this time they were 8 minutes apart. Keep in mind I am still pretty comfortable to continue shopping, chatting it up with strangers who told me I "look like I could have him any moment" and am I "sure it isn't twins" (thanks, actually I'm trying to keep smiling and nodding at you while my utereus is crunching down on itself as we speak).

I decided to go home, leave all the groceries in the car that I could and go for a walk around the apartment area. I kept updating Ethan and by 2:00 I was having contractions consistently 5 minutes apart. This is throwing off my whole plan, see. Our childbirth instructor told us a simple rule on how to remember when its time to go to the hospital: 511 (or 311 if you live close by). That means contractions that are 5 minutes apart, lasting for one minute each for at least an hour. But these didn't feel like real labor contractions. So why were they so consistent? I decided to go upstairs and lay down to see what would happen. Now they're 4 minutes apart. So I walked again. Now its 3:00 and they're 3 minutes apart. Ethan suggested I call the nurse. She said if they kept up like that for 45 minutes, to come into labor and delivery.

Well now, I'm just getting excited. I go and pick E up from work, we stop by the house to get our bags and Sam (my brother who had just arrived for Christmas) and we drive to the hospital. I'm thinking if this is the real thing and I go ahead and check in, they're not going to let me back out. I'd rather walk around the pretty pond with all the Christmas lights than in the hospital halls, so we walk. Then I can't take it any more. By this time, the contractions are getting pretty uncomfortable and I want to know if I'm crazy, so we go into labor and delivery.

They took me into triage and hooked me up to 2 monitors, one for Carver's heart beat and one to measure contractions. The nurse said I was having beautiful contractions 3 minutes apart (I was relieved I wasn't making all this up) and that people would kill for a pattern like that. Carver was doing great and things seemed to be progressing, but I was trying not to get my hopes up. It just didn't feel painful enough. Sure enough, she checked my cervix and I wasn't dialated at all. She said I am about 50% effaced and she could feel Carver's head, but no dialation. She and the doctor on call suggested I go home, get some sleep and they would probably see me the next morning. That was Tuesday. Now its Thursday and besides a contraction here and there, I don't really have any news.

I was really dissapointed at first because, Lord, I just want to see my baby boy! But now I am trying to just go with the flow and hopefully this is all a sign that things will happen sooner than later.

Fake Out :(

At midnight last night (this morning?) I started having contractions about every 8-10 minutes. They stopped around 2:00 AM. No Carver yet.

More to come soon on why last night was still the best night ever.

Visuals, As Promised

Gainesville Shower

Melissa & Lauren

At the end of the shower all these wonderful ladies whom I love got in a circle and prayed for different aspects of C's life. I will never forget that tearful moment!

Pregnant "Core" ladies (my amazing friends from camp), Heather & Gwen

Sign Language Kiddies

Big kids, Miss Becca & Miss Jessica

Mrs. Valerie is looking big, as well

So cute

Fat Feet (can you believe these???)

My Newest Creation

The Kitchen Sink

I don't have much to write, just a little bit of everything.

The Christmas tree is up and dazzling, as are my 2 crafty decorations that I got from Real Simple. Carver's room is looking amazing, thanks to 40 dear friends and family that showered me last Sunday. I hope to prove all of this with visuals, but that's usually what turns a 15 minute blogging sesh into a frustrating hour and a half sesh, so I'm procrastinating on that adventure. Plus, I will have to really dig in audio-visually to post the video of the sign language performance! It was fabulous! There's one little first grade girl who does the motions opposite of everyone else. You'll see. The performance concluded an 11 hour work day as well as work as I know it. I am so sad to leave my kids and all the sweet people at Idylwild. I really loved working there and I'm sure I'll be back now and then.

Here are some things I'm looking forward to when Cman is my work:
Playing with him outside
Showing him off as I run errands
Reading to him
Breastfeeding
Visiting his daddy at work
Being able to plan and cook dinner
Making his baby food (thanks to Ronda and Emilye who gave me a baby food maker and Mrs. Sweet Dreams who made me a recipe book!)
Hanging out with other moms
Waking up early for the Mr. Rodgers feeling

Hopefully it won't be too long. I have 3 more weeks, but he sure feels ready. My doctor told me that as of Tuesday he was measuring at 7.5 lbs! I know they can be way off, but I also know this is no small child. I've really enjoyed being pregnant, but it gets very uncomfortable at the end! I can't wait to take a full breath without having to brace myself first.

I also can't wait to:
Longboard
Mountain bike
Roll over in bed without thinking "Is this really going to be worth it?"
Play Frisbee
See bones in my feet
Have ankles
Give frontal hugs
Pee for longer than 10 seconds at a time

I don't know how long it will take to be able to do all of those, but I'll let you know. And although 3rd trimester hormones have caused my brain and tear ducts to do crazy things, in general, pregnancy is pretty delightful. I've mostly felt full of energy, talkative and extremely happy. If nothing else, it forces a sense of humor. Last night at Moe's I had to stick one leg under the arm rest of my chair just to be able to spread my legs out enough for my belly to fall between them.

My Apartment Has a Sense of Humor

Get it? Like it was that cold?

I Would Rather Work With Kids Than People

That's what I said to E this morning in the car. I also couldn't remember the word "bottle" yesterday. This is what pregnancy does to a mind.

It is true, I would rather work with kids than people, at least the grown-up kind. And that's said after a week of being a Kindergarten teacher (which I realized I could never do long-term). And that's said after being moved from the Kindergarten portable classroom we were in to the library because of a tornado watch. You try to keep 20 five year olds quiet without games, scissors and glue for six hours and tell me how it goes. The librarian was sweet and gave me chocolate at the end of the day. Despite the noise, the incessant tattle-telling (my pet peeve!) and constant taps on my belly, I am already missing my kids so much. With a month left until my due date, I can't believe I only have one more week at school with them until Christmas break and then full-time momhood.

My favorite part of work this week was in afterschool. I decided to lead a face-painting activity as part of our theme for the month: circus. It was a very complicated activity. I painted the kids' faces. Because of artistic and time-related limits, I only gave them a few choices: heart, star, rainbow, butterfly, alligator, clown, or peace sign. When I told one sweet Kindergarten girl her choices I thought she could only remembered the last one I listed and therefore requested the peace sign. Turns out she wasn't saying "peace sign," but "Capri Sun." This lead to quite the conversation. "Seriously, you want a drink pouch on your face? A Capri Sun?" Yep. Guess what the next person in line also asked for.

Yesterday afternoon my sign language group painted T-shirts for their performance next Thursday. I'm so excited! I hope I can figure out how to post videos on this thing so you can see it. Its the best combination of cute and hilarious. After we made the shirts, I was cleaning up when I dropped a bottle of paint on the floor. NBD, but as it was rolling away, I squatted to pick it up. BD. It all happened in slow motion. I realized that squatting (with my hands full) seriously compromised my sense of balance and as I leaned forward and the bottle kept rolling away I did a little less falling and a little more sprawling across the floor. Picture a newborn elephant trying to find her footing, yet all four limbs end up as far apart as possible. I wasn't concerned for my safety as I was at an elevation of about 6 inches, however, I was concerned for the amount of butt crack the kids behind me saw. Good thing you can blame just about everything on pregnancy.

Recap

As Double Layer Dan would say, "whoa whoa whoa."
As Ethan would say, "Its a crazy life... but its our life." (Yes, that's a quote from the intro to Jon & Kate Plus 8, my 3rd favorite TV show- and apparently Ethan's)
As I would say:

Its been a hectic couple weeks. I just looked and this will be the first legit blog in December! Holy cow! I'm sorry its been so long and I'm sorry that I have this weird need to keep things in order. Let me just fill you in on Nov 27-now and then I will feel better and we will move on to blogs of my funny everyday life.

Thanksgiving was great. We went to Tampa and cooked and ate at Dad's. He has this cool tennis set-up that the boys played with. The best and most ironic part of our holiday was that night. What else would any American family do to celebrate the 1st meal between the pilgrims and Native Americans? Go to the Seminole Indian Casino. On Thanksgiving. I was up $20 at one point, but lets be real, does it ever stay that way?

The next day we went to Busch Gardens with Mom. To me, Busch Gardens is like the North Pole (or some other really cool place, like the foam pit at a gymnastics gym).

This one perfectly captures my siblings.

This one perfectly defines their relationship. Oh, brother.

Let's see, what else? I don't want to skip anything important.

Obviously, UF beat FSU.

We had a little scare with Tug (my sister's dog in the pictures above). He got lost, but found. Once was blind, but now he sees.

We came back home for a busy week of work, more childbirth class, a class on car seat safety, Mary & Steve's garage sale, a work party, the SEC championship (!!!), and on Sunday night we drove back down to Tampa for a wedding. Phew.

I'm sure the bride and groom had a crazier week that I did, though, because there were over 600 guests! It was a very beautiful wedding. Our friend from Young Life, Dara married professional baseball player (and former Gator) Matt LaPorta.

Thanks to my new bed time, this week has been quiet and relaxing. It takes a lot of self-control for me to turn off all my random ideas, creative juices and urges to clean by 10:00, but it was well worth it. I don't want to be caught off guard and go into labor on less than enough sleep. I basically just worked every day, came home, ate and slept. We did have our last childbirth class which was very exciting, yet sad. I know we will remember going and think about how young we were. I feel so confident about labor now, I highly suggest taking classes if you plan on pushing a baby out of your body. If you're in the area, I suggest taking them with Tina Copeland at North Florida.

I don't even care if you read this or not, I finally feel much better after taking the time to sit outside in this amazing Friday weather and literarily sigh out the past 15 days.

As Anne would say, "Thank you and goodbye."

Ode To My Baby

I've never been so exhausted and so excited at the same time.

To my readers:
I'll be back after a couple days of implementing my new rule: 10:00 bed time.