Doctor Visits

Ultrasounds are always fun, so my morning appointment was very enjoyable. Carver was confirmed a boy, determined to be 7 lbs, 6oz and as cute as a little smushed up fetus can be. The lady doing my ultrasound even let me see him in 4D which was super cool. I felt like I was cheating by seeing what he looks like. He has his dad's nose and hair!

My second visit was not so fun. Not only is having your cervix checked an unpleasant feeling, having the doctor say you are 0cm. dilated is even worse. However, both mom and baby are healthy so I'm thankful (or at least I feel like I should say that).

If you ever plan on getting pregnant or getting any one else pregnant, you might find the following helpful. These are the 4 extreme emotions I've been experiencing as the final weeks approach. The first two are the patient ones and the last two are desperately impatient ones.

1. I feel pleasantly distracted from pregnancy and can thoroughly enjoy things like Christmas, buying new plants at the nursery, or whatever else might come my way. (If you have such a ploy, please distract!)

2. Sometimes I'm just straight up content with waiting for my little guy. I think about how fun motherhood is going to be, sigh and realize I would wait forever to meet this person I love so much.

3. CRANKY. Angry, grumpy, inconsolable. I am literally sick and tired of being heavy, not sleeping, not knowing when I'm going to go into labor, saying "January 11th," breathing heavily just from walking up one flight of stairs and having fat feet. Every false contraction mocks me. My packed hospital bags mock me. Cute maternity clothes, baby gear and I have all lost our "glow."

4. Some of the time I just feel generally sad or disappointed. I've spent a year getting my hopes up and looking forward to a day that still seems so far away. Even 48 hours sounds far away. The last time I felt as disappointed as I did today after the 2nd appointment was on my birthday last April when I got my period (and therefore realized I wasn't pregnant).

Unless you've been 9 months pregnant before, all this might sound crazy, selfish or silly. I'm sure these next 2 weeks of your life will fly by. But to me, it is what it is.